So lately I've been getting a ton of messages from men on Facebook and other social network sites who are trying to hook up.I don't mean like hey baby how you doin? No, not even close.
It's more of the I am 6 feet tall or whatever and I've got a good looking body.. They usually try to compare themselves to some young hot A list actor before they continue telling me how they look and what skills in bed they have.
Really? Do you think if you compare yourself to some A list actor that will make me want toy rip off my clothes and run to you naked so I can have the most dirties, kinkiest sex with you?
Or even telling me that you can go all night long and pleasure a woman in the most amazing way is going to make you more hot in my eyes...
Really, you think that?
Oh but wait till I tell you more..
One of my latest requests came from some random guys who discovered my BDSM side and he's asking me to do the most kinkiest things to him that you could ever think about.
Just because I'm into the lifestyle doesn't mean my door is open and I've got a neon sign saying open for business. You are so sadly mistaken.
So about these requests that I get....Most of the guys never forget to tell me just how long their junk is..like I really want to know..
It don't matter how big or long your junk is...If you don't know what to do with it you need to figure it out. Or if you are going to hurt yourself with it, again figure it out...
Yes you read that right...
What ever happened to the old pick up line...
"That's a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?"
I'm getting messages almost every other day or at least 3 times a week.
Sorry but the whole "Baby I Can Go All Night Long" line won't work. So not interested...not even close.
I know I'm not the only one who has messages like this..So come on spill it, tell me about some of the messages you've gotten.
Oh I know what you're talking about!! I have tons of messages like that. I just ignore them. But once in awhile, I have messages that intrigued me. For example, I had one guy who sent me that message: "like your pic... what do you publish..."
ReplyDeleteI answered him. We talked about books and everything. Of course, there were a lot of sexuals innuendos, but he was always respectul, in a way lol
I've been talking to him for two months now. He's one of the person who's talking to me everyday. We're not "friends" on FB, not yet. But I like him.
I have another one, who was attracted by a pic I posted on a group. We're friends now and he talks to me everyday too.
I found out that some of the guys out there can be really nice if you give them a chance and explain from the beginning that you're not a slut.
Of course, there will always be assholes who message you with a: "I wanna fuck, are you game?" (yes, I had that one too...) but I just ignore those messages. They make me laugh for a minute at their stupidity, so at least I got something out of it :)
LOL! How funny! See, the one advantage to being an old mom is that I don't have to worry about all that! LOL
ReplyDeleteMichelle V
Michelle, no way.. and sorry but I don't see old anywhere...can you tell me where?
DeleteJade, you are lucky. You got the good ones. I tried to talk to a few that were not creeps but they turned into them very quickly. Oh the are you game one is classic. I've met some amazing people on fb but not through pick up lines. Just a simple hello or a question about my work. There are good people out there but lately it's more I wanna get in your panties..
ReplyDeleteNo one's ever sent me anything. Sobs quietly in corner.....
ReplyDeleteoh unless you mean the offers to lengthen my penis or a supply of viagra - I get loads of those.
Barbara, oh just wait you will get one. It takes time but you will. Oh and I get those offers every single day. Urm do I look like a man? *looks down at boobs* Nope, not even close.
DeleteThe creepiest one I had by far was "Can I be your foot slave? I'd lick your feet whenever you want!" That freaked me out so bad I deleted and blocked from facebook!
ReplyDeleteKadian,omg..the man had a foot fetish..Whatever floats his boat..LOL
DeleteHilarious! Some men are so brazen when they don't have to 'prove' themselves. I wonder how many seconds he can last with you in the real world. I don't get those wacky messages. You must be special Savannah ;)
ReplyDeleteeden
Eden, I ask myself the exact question...LOL..I must be special for them to think they might have a shot. lol
DeleteOh gawd! Too funny and too annoying! I'm glad I'm not on FB!
ReplyDeleteJulia, funny but true...Sometimes I wonder myself...
DeleteI love those pick up lines. I don't hear a lot of them any longer but I guess even when I did hear them, laughing was not usually the response they were looking for (-:
ReplyDeleteElf2060, the look on their face when one did laugh was sometimes a photo moment.
DeleteI've gotten a few, one I had to firmly tell him to cut the "I wanna get you in bed, and who cares, it's only "FB and internet Sex, it's not real" uh... yea... ok... um.. not. Sorry -- that shit doesn't fly with me. But once I was firm (lol) he stopped the talk and just pokes me instead :laughs:
ReplyDeleteI hear you though, it's rather sad but funny.
ER, sorry I will LOL with the he pokes me part. See I just block their ass. Some just don't understand NO.
DeleteLOL! I know it is terrible to laugh because it has to be tremulously annoying to be getting all these bad pick-up attempts, but damn, it is funny! It's such a shame that not even one of them can be the slightest bit original.
ReplyDeleteLisa, oh you can LOL, it is so ok..I think they don't feel like trying..They think they are original but not even close..
DeleteI get some of those and told them, sorry, I'm married. Now I just block them.
ReplyDeleteJanice~
Janice, even when you tell them that they still try. Have you ever gotten the "so nobody has to know".
DeleteUh, hmmm, well, ok - what's the problem? I get messages like that all the time, from women and a few men. Actually, I consider it kinda flattering, but I do understand it's different for a woman.
ReplyDeleteTruthfully, the overtures I get from women are much more subtle than the lines mentioned in this post. Usually, it's a very carefully orchestrated dance with my would-be suitors as we waltz around the subject of all the things they might want to do with me and to me. I never plunge right end and the dance is truly more fun than anything else.
I pity the knuckleheads who send women those messages with those tired lines. Alas, I guess that just means more opportunities for me. Muwah!!@
Benjamin,oh it is flattering but still funny. I think that these people send this stuff out to groups of men and or women hoping one will say yes.
DeleteSome people skip the dance and go straight for the action. They don't seem to want to bother.
I guess it does leave you more opportunity. You know there will always be opportunities for you. But I'm sure you are a smooth operator not like these other dudes...
Well I saw that Rolling Muse in The Roses posted a comment via my email but it is not showing up here.
ReplyDeleteRolling Muse in The Roses has left a new comment on the post "Baby I Can Go All Night Long":
Third time id a charm right? Well I have never been hit on before or sent messages. At first I think it would be fun and funny. But after so long I'm sure it gets old fast. Id go along with it to see where it goes but then I would have to run toes over with my wheelchair :)
I still want to answer, it does get old and tiresome esp since it is not even unique or with effort. I still LOL each time.
I've been married for 30 years. My husband still uses his old pick up moves.
ReplyDeleteSteph, that is sexy and he is your hubby. It makes the relationship hotter.
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